Friday, August 19, 2011

it's 9:45 on friday night and i'm sitting on my couch while my husband snoozes with his book laying on his chest. what started out as a great night with a picnic up in beverly hills and celebrity mansion hunting suddenly took a turn for the worst when i instigated an argument for him wanting to take me to anthropologie (long story and of course very stupid). in a huff i turned the car around to go home, we then did the dishes in silence and i plopped down on the couch with the computer on my lap. letting my pride fester inside of me i coldly brushed off outreaches of love from him and he eventually resigned to reading catching fire on the couch next to me.

i don't share this store because i'm dying to expose the inner workings of my marriage or what a beast of a wife i am, but as an example to me of why the Lord blesses his children with trials. its not even an hour after beau has fallen asleep and i already see so clearly my foolish pride and unfounded anger at him. i ruined a precious weekend night because of my PRIDE. certain trials we as a family have been facing lately have caused me to ask the forbidden question of "why me?" "why of all hardships did you give this to me/us? " and as i sat here tonight reflecting on my silly behavior it hit me like a ton of bricks. it wasn't any new information but a thought given to me by the Holy Ghost that trials humble us and make us more like the savior if we let them. they get rid of the "stiffneckedness" i perfectly exemplified tonight. they strip our pride and force us to rely on the Lord in all things. in my short life of experiences i have found trials act as a catalyst to my testimony of Jesus Christ. so although i have learned my lesson this time, i am positive i will have to learn it in many new and different ways in the future. that i must look to the Lord in all things including insurmountable odds or agonizing pain and recognize the divine potential and change that takes place in the heart as a result.